So today is the end of week four since letting the business go. It’s been interesting in various ways. Firstly it was the tech withdrawal which caught me by surprise, this feels better every day now. The other major thing was the feeling of doing nothing, or rather the feeling of not doing something. It used to be a place I lived, where we all lived. Before the ‘system’ got hold of us. Where summer holidays lasted forever, where there was still wonder and mystery. Before we were told to put away childish thoughts. Yet -for me – the most alive people that I now know, are the ones who ignored this advice, and continue to be an innocent abroad in the world. Not charlatans playing at it, I mean the real mavericks.
I cannot say that I am settled into it as yet, as it is far too soon. I have high standards for myself that I often find hard to satiate and at the same time attain. When perfectly tuned and in ‘that place’ I can respond to the call of the music and words. Though now without the barrier of work, I look forward to the muse coming to stay. I shall this time – for the first time in years – not be interrupted. This was one of the things I hated most about my job. It has also left me with a permanent phone phobia, which frustrates friends and family alike. Being interrupted constantly when you are trying to write or play – when done for enough years – stops you trying altogether.
So as week 5 gets underway, I try and remain aware to the changes and feelings of strangeness that leaving your day job and dropping out brings me. Intrinsically my days are the same, in that I get up at mostly the same time, and do the same things, but with the exception of not having to locate myself next to a computer, just in case something needs attending to. Much like a permanent hotel door man, standing there all night, just in case someone arrives. What a bore, and such time that I spent doing that, was well and truly wasted, except that is, for the learnings that came from the books I read in between times. What I call my knowledge upgrade, which ironically led me to selling my business … excellent !!