Much like a prisoner who – after being caged for 20 years – has had the door unlocked to his cell, but then does not leave, I have to say I feel the same. The ‘system’ is incredibly adept at grinding individuals down into group think and group act. I was never one of those people until some time in my 30’s, when – in a totally aberrant frame of mind – I tried to be a grown up.
I shall over come the strange feelings of ‘not doing anything’ and learn to fall back into the natural state of alert awareness. The place where one can – if one listens – hear the beckoning call of creativity and activity. Our lives are full of so much paper token gathering and family doing, that many of us have lost the ability to just be.
Not wasted was the time I spent working, though working was the wasted part. No, in between work I learned, and I re learned things that I thought I knew. And learned things that I have never known. I upgraded my programming and in so doing sank back into the reality that is the eternal nothingness.
Everyday that passes is not only lost forever, but is also an opportunity to expand the consciousness that runs through us all. I look forward to the coming days, weeks and months as I learn to break free from a system that – like a cancer – crept up on me and slowly but surely infected me. A system determined to make me a brick in the wall. Alas, it has failed.